"Gospel on the Radio" by Jacqueline Goldfinger

Photo Credit: ANDY ZHANG, obtained and licensed through Unsplash

Gospel on the Radio

That morning,
the Cricket
on my cracked windowpane
has no idea what she’s in for;
just fiddles her sweet song
’til I’m all the way outta bed
and think to swat her away.
Looking back,
I wonder,
did I really hit her?
Or did she jump a second before?
Skittering across the burnt grass,
taking the sweetness of the world with her.

I dress like I don’t know a funeral is comin’.
Bright colors.
Christmas glitter pantyhose.
Yellow headband: thin, plastic, sharp.
Orange Sharpie the faded neckline.
Looks almost, good, as. . .
that sound, not a fiddle tune.
Not a ghost.
Nobody here to spike footfalls but me.
I flip radio flashes to keep it at bay.

In the bathroom,
I practice my Surprise! face in the broke mirror.
Two shards turn “Surprise!” ugly.
Slippery.
Something that won’t stay
tacked
to the face in the mirror;
which is me and not me and almost me and never me,
disappearing me,
all in one swallow.

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Jacqueline Goldfinger (she/they) is a poet, playwright and librettist from rural North Florida who grew up with a love of music and storytelling. Gospel on the Radio is from a collection-in-progress titled Devil’s Waltz. Read more about her work: www.jacquelinegoldfinger.com.